Girl in the bar...

Yeah, ya know that random pretty girl standing at the bar with no man, she's not at the bar looking for anyone. Well maybe she is looking for someone, she's actually looking for two people. The love of her life that slipped through her fingers and the old girl she used to be. She's not there to dance with you, she's not there for you to offer her a drink, quite frankly she doesn't even want to talk to you. She's standing there listening to the music with the Jim beam that he used to drink in her hand and when their song comes on it's easier to chug that drink and get one more. Just one more though, because she's already feeling sad. 

Now you can come up and talk, ask a the questions you want like 'why are you here' or 'you're to pretty to be here by yourself so where's your man', so don't get that scared look on your face when she says "her boyfriend unfortunately isn't with her anymore because he passed away". You asked and she gave you her honest answer, you don't have to make it anymore awkward than it is, she knows you won't know what to say and she'll be counting down in her head until you decide to walk away. That moment when you walk away is going to be gold, because she doesn't want to talk to you to begin with. 

That's the funny thing, she's a girl in a bar, with his name around her neck and the memory of them in her head and the love of him and her in her heart. She's not there to talk, she's not there to get drunk. She's there to feel numb and watch life happen. She's there standing hoping that maybe all of this is just a bad dream, sometimes it feels like it's a dream for her because in her mind he's going to be home when she gets there. Maybe she's there because it's better than laying in bed crying or feeling empty inside or alone, at least here she can feel alone in a room full of people. 

She's a girl in a bar not looking for anything but the person she misses most and the new person that she now is becoming....