4 weeks.

It's amazing how I can feel so much hurt and pain from Joey passing away. I never knew that any human could feel this way, the human body is strange thing. Today, February 17th is 4 weeks and Friday February 20th will be ONE MONTH. How is it even possible, that he's been gone this long.
One month isn't that long, but it's been the longest month without him. You get in a routine and that routine becomes your life and the person who you share that routine with becomes your life. I sit and think about how I'm having to start from the bottom, I have a new routine and it's me just going through the motions and feeling numb. I find myself talking about Joey more and more, there are so many things that remind me of him and for me, that's okay because it makes me think of him.

The other night I was trying to use my Uber app on my phone to get a ride home, well it wasn't working, kept saying network error...as if. Using that Uber app makes me think of Joey and I because we loved using Uber. I didn't know about Uber until I moved to Tampa with Joey and at first I looked at him crazy, wondering why  he thought it was okay to get in a car with a complete stranger. I knew if we were going to use Uber, Joey was not going to shut up in the car. Sometimes I would be embarrassed but I realized that, was just who Joey was. I have so many Uber stories and I could tell you the lives of maybe 15 uber drivers because of Joey. My favorite Uber ride was with Joey and my best friend Janna. It was a couple weeks before Thanksgiving and Janna had come down from NYC. It was Jannas first time meeting Joey and at first I was so scared for them to meet because I really wanted Janna to like Joey. Well, the three of us got in that Uber car and headed to South Howard and I felt like the 4th wheel. Our Uber driver could not speak any english and of course Joey and Janna both knew how to speak spanish, so as the three of them are laughing there butts off and having a heart to heart in spanish, I was sitting silently in disbelief. After the Uber car ride, Joey and Janna were BFF's, I almost felt as if they needed to be together! HAHA. Joey always felt the need to get to know someone and why they were where they were in life. I loved that about Joey, he had a heart of gold and he really loved meeting people.
Brings me back to another memory of Joey and I, it was the first day we moved to Tampa!
August 9th 2014, we just dropped the Uhaul off and started unpacking, and he was just so eager to go watch the sunset, I had never seen him so excited to go see a stupid sunset! We started walking around our complex and found the trail by the water and sat on a swing...turns out that a huge group hung out at the spot and I just knew at that moment that we were going to be sitting there for a very long time. Joey instantly made 8 new friends that night, which is no surprise. There was always someone for Joey to meet and get to know.
I'm sure he's made a billion new friends up there in Heaven. I can't wait for the day where I am with him again, it's a sickening feeling. I miss him so much, I don't know how I'm even going on... because I have the urge to cry at any moment of the day. You know that feeling in your throat when you're just about to cry but force yourself not too...that's how I feel ALL the time! I wake up, and force myself to go back to sleep because I don't want to be awake without him. I wish I would know the reason why God took away Joey at such a young age, we had too many things to do and that's the hardest part to get over.